Aleks Maric
BELGRADE, SERBIA—In a further bid to recruit All-Euroleague centre and Australian Institute of Sport product Aleks Maric, Serbia is set to make yet another change to its state boundary – and possibly its name – to include the Australian home address of Aleks Maric in Sydney, according to a Serbian government official. Under the proposal, Aleks Maric’s family home in Sydney will retrospectively become Serbian land. Serbian officials claim that Maric will surely automatically lose his Australian citizenship status, voiding his previous Australian representation and clearing the way for Serbia to recruit the former Emus gold-medal winning centre.

According to sources within the Serbian government, the name of the nation may change to “Serbia & Maric”, in part to re-use the unsold “S&M” t-shirts and paraphernalia that became redundant when Serbia became independent from Montenegro in 2006. Serbia became independent by default as the 'negros, bucking worldwide trends, voted for segregation. This had the added advantage of reducing the number of sadomasochists visiting local websites, according to 'negro officials.

Meanwhile, Aleks Maric has declined an invite to join the Australian Boomers World Championship campaign, with claims of an injury.  In a continuation of cold Serb-Croat relations, Maric was overheard saying that if "that Croat Bogus" can "feign an injury" to get out of the Worlds, then surely a Serb such as himself should be equally capable of being deceptive to get out of national duties.  Maric quickly defended these claims, stating that being duplicitous is supposed to be applauded by Australians, as proven by Julia Gillard's ascension to Prime Minister.  Maric claims that he hasn't snubbed Australia because unfairly treating another race would be "un-Serbian", according to revisionist Serbian propaganda written by Slobodan Milošević in 2001.

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