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GOLD COAST—A mysterious team of dream espionage specialists have been hired to infiltrate Ater Majok's ludicrous dreams of reaching the NBA after Majok announced that he would withdraw from the Gold Coast Blaze to focus on his NBA draft prospects

Although Majok has never completed a full season of NCAA or NBL or any European league, he has been otherwise working hard to pursue his NBA dream by attempting an American accent, wearing gangsta-style clothes and developing the deluded cockiness of a pro baller. Experts believe Majok's chance of being drafted to the NBA are slimmer than his frame. 

The secret team of dream specialists intend to remove the idea of "making the NBA" from Majok's dream, replacing it with more obtainable dreams such as "selling designer brand counterfeit handbags in New York". They also intend to remove his idea of being an NBA small forward prospect, replacing it with being a small claims tribunal prospect.

An adaptation to this remarkable story has already been sold to Hollywood executives under the title 'Aspiration', alluding to the medical act of removing foreign material from the body, or in this case, the removal of ludicrous ambitions from a dream.

"Check the dictionary, people!" screenwriter Chris Nolan exclaimed as he submitted the script to Hollywood executives.  "It's one of those cerebral double-meaning titles that you'll only understand if you are really, really smart; and one of those meanings has been adapted for this context, but only if you are smart enough to understand it. Basically, those who don't like this movie are clearly stupid." 

"If you think the title is deep, mysterious and complex, just wait until you read the implausibly complex storyline about a young Sudanese immigrant's wildly deluded aspirations of making the NBA being extracted from his own dreamspace by a team of black-suited dream infiltrators in a stunning array of cool special effects and amazing explosions for no real reason whatsoever!"

"Aspiration!" Nolan whispered emphatically.
 
UNITED STATES—In what has shocked the NBA and the recording industry, a bad-boy NBA player is not planning to release an album.  The NBA player, who refuses to be named for fear of diminished reputation, admitted following a heavy drinking session that his preference in music was actually far more sophisticated than his fellow bad-boy players.

"Comparing the music I like with the music they like is like comparing Michael Jordan with Jason Collins," the player told our source. "One is an all-time classic, whereas the other hardly even qualifies as a contemporary flash in the pan."

When asked about his favourite music, the player paused a moment for consideration. "The works of Bach are the hallmark of baroque polyphony, while the masterpieces of Mozart and Beethoven are the quintessential developments of classical style," the player commented. "However, my preference would be with the romantic era style of Chopin or Rachmaninov. Rachmaninov’s Piano Concerto number 2 in C-Minor opus number 18 would have to be his magnum opus. Now that is dope, yo!"