Martin Cattalini steals stadium fixture
PERTH—Management at Challenge Stadium were outraged last night as members of the Perth Wildcats basketball team allegedly trashed the venue during their championship celebrations. 

Among the alleged misdemeanors by the Wildcats staff and playing group was petty theft via the removal of fixtures (including both nets) and the littering of confetti and balloons.  The misbehaviour was apparently fueled by alcohol, most notably champagne, according to witnesses. As players went into the crowd to celebrate with fans, Challenge Arena staff additionally allege that the players proceeded to vandalise fans' t-shirts and singlets by "tagging" them.

'Red Army' Rising

Challenge staff have previously expressed concerns about the aggressive tendencies of some Wildcats players, particularly serial provocateurs Martin Cattalini and Shaun Redhage, but did not believe that these players would incite their teammates to be involved in destructive damage to property.

For many years Challenge management have been increasingly concerned about the direction of of the Wildcats organisation as signs of radical authoritarianism have become more accentuated. Recently there has been a surge in radical conformity of the Wildcats fanbase, with some outside observers claiming that the development of a Wildcats "Red Army" will have potentially dire consequences. The Red Army has been seen rehearsing acts of insurrection with several cases of coordinated rythmic clapping and rowdy protest-like chants of "defence". Outside observers fear that the development of the Wildcats "Red Army" along with the dominance of the Wildcats organisation will ultimately result in the destruction of humankind. With a redheaded coach and assistant coach in charge of the playing group, experts are not surprised by these recent developments.

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