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TOWNSVILLE—Townville Crocodiles import point guard, Corey Williams, was inconsolable yesterday when a teammate let it slip that the National Basketball League used to have a program called "Taking it to the Streets".

The disclosure was produced by Cameron Tovey’s flippant response to yet another assertion by Williams that he is the best streetballer in the universe following a Williams drive through heavy traffic resulting in a simple layup.

"The NBL’s not streetball, dude," a frustrated Tovey said according to our sources. "The closest thing was the Taking it to the Streets games of a few years ago, but we don’t do that shit anymore!"

Upon hearing that he missed out on an apparent streetball version of the NBL – one which had the added bonus of the acronym "TITTS" – Williams displayed a rare moment of vulnerability and immediately broke down into tears in the corner of the gym.

"The years of projecting an ultra-confident exterior must have finally got to him," Townville coach Trevor Gleeson told our source. "You can only hold up that facade for so long. Underneath the confident bravado he is actually a deeply troubled man.  He spends his life seeking validation from others because his father was very critical of him when he was growing up. To compensate for this lack of support, he has established an extremely arrogant persona, an alter-ego of sorts.

"But don’t tell him that, will you? His whole game is based on harnessing this feigned confidence."

"It was an honest mistake," Crocs forward Cameron Tovey said about his slip-up. "I know coach didn’t want him to know about it. All he talks about in training is how he is the silver surfer, the most dangerous player in streetball, NBA killer, The King of Streetball. I had enough, you know."

"I have to admit I wasn’t really thinking, just like when I play a game," Tovey admitted.

The Crocs staff and players quickly agreed not to tell Williams the true nature of the Taking it to the Streets program.  They agreed it was better for Williams to release these emotions than tell him his mental breakdown was based on a misunderstanding.

During the emotional outburst, Williams remained coiled up in the corner of the gym. "In New York City born and raised, on the playground where I spent most of my days," Williams was overheard attempting console himself while quietly sobbing. "Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool, and all shooting some b-ball outside of the school," he mumbled before falling asleep.

He was later overheard mumbling in his sleep, "why aint I never not good enough for ya, pappa?"

This mumbled statement was enough to register his tenth triple-negative of the session, a new league record. When told of his double-digit triple-negative the next day, Williams proudly stated, "yo, yo, I told you! I told you! You aint thought I couldn't top the 23 threes in a game for impressiveness. Here's another record to the most dangerous player in streetball! Aint not nobody can beat the NBA killer!"
 


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